Why Vacations Feel Stressful with ADHD (and How Systems Changed Everything)
I just got back from Hawaii, and I have a confession to make: this was the first trip I’ve ever taken as the “sole responsible adult” without a neurotypical travel partner to lean on.
Honestly? It was terrifying.
If you have adult ADHD, you know that feeling. It’s not that we’re irresponsible; it’s that we’re constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. We’re terrified we’ll forget the passports, miss the check-in window, or realise we’re an hour away from the excursion we forgot to book.
But this time, something was different. Instead of spending the first three days of my vacation recovering from the stress of getting there, I actually enjoyed myself from day one. Here is how I stopped relying on “Future Kim” and started building systems that actually work for an ADHD brain.
The Science of ADHD and Travel Stress
Why is travel so uniquely difficult for the neurodivergent brain? It comes down to Executive Function. Travelling isn’t just “going somewhere”. It’s a massive project involving sequencing, prioritisation, and working memory.
1. Choice Paralysis and “Decision Fatigue”
ADHD brains often struggle with “death by a thousand tiny decisions”. Every choice, what to pack, where to eat, how to get to the hotel, costs brain energy. By the time we reach the airport, we’ve often used up our entire “dopamine budget” for the day.
2. Time Blindness
The transition from “I have plenty of time” to “I am 10 minutes late” happens in a heartbeat. When you’re navigating an international flight, time blindness can be the difference between a relaxing start and a total meltdown.
3. The “Schiphol Anxiety”
For me, the stress peaks at the airport. I’m the person checking my boarding pass 50 times while walking to the gate, terrified I’ve misread the number. My anxiety doesn’t truly break until I’m sitting at the gate with my “first prosecco” in hand.
That prosecco isn’t just a drink. It’s the signal to my brain that the “Survival Phase” is over and the “Vacation Phase” has begun.
Shifting Decisions to “High-Energy” Moments
The biggest lesson I learned is that I needed to move decisions to a time when my brain actually had the energy to make them. I stopped expecting Future Kim to be organised and helped her out by “pre-loading” the dopamine.
Pillar 1: The “HAWAII Droomreis” Book
Being a graphic designer, I decided to “design the shit” out of this trip. I created a physical, tactile vacation book titled “HAWAII Droomreis Max & Kim”.
I gave it an old-school map aesthetic on the cover, covering our dates from July 6th to July 21st. It wasn’t just a notebook. It was our “External Brain”.
- The Planning Side: Included estimated arrival times, flight data, all the voucher for excusion booked and hotel information. No more digging through 400 unread emails for a confirmation code.
- The Journal Side: A place to save receipts, tickets, and photos from surfing or hiking volcanoes.
- The Benefit: If it wasn’t in the “Droomreis” book, it didn’t exist. This gave my brain permission to stop “scanning” for missing information.
Pillar 2: The ChatGPT Packing Checklist
I used ChatGPT to generate two distinct checklists: one for my suitcase and one for my backpack.
- The “Laundry Run” Strategy: We managed to fit two weeks of Hawaii adventures into just one suitcase for both of us. We planned a “laundry day” halfway through the trip, which meant we didn’t have to lug heavy bags across the islands. For an ADHD traveller, “less stuff” equals “less to lose”.
Want my complete ADHD-friendly packing system?
Download the free 2-page Travel Packing List for your suitcase, carry-on and in-flight seat pouch.
It helps you remember the essentials, keep important items close and stop rebuilding your packing list before every trip.
Pillar 3: Removing “Arrival Anxiety” with Tech
Normally, I land and immediately start stressing about finding an eSIM seller at the airport. This time, I bought and installed an eSIM online before I even left.
- The Small Win: The plane landed, I turned my phone on, and I had internet. No hunting for a kiosk while jet-lagged. It sounds like a tiny thing, but it removed the first “failure point” of the trip.
The Hawaii Case Study: Spontaneity vs. Planning
We did the big ones: the Road to Hana, swimming with manta rays at night, and a volcano hike.
There’s a common myth that planning kills spontaneity. In reality, for an ADHD brain, planning creates the freedom to be spontaneous.
If you wait until 11:00 AM to decide what to do, only to find out everything requires a reservation or is a two-hour drive away, you’ve trapped yourself in a cycle of frustration.
By booking the “High-Value” experiences, the once-in-a-lifetime stuff, in advance, we left the rest of our time wide open. We had the energy to be spontaneous because we weren’t exhausted from “logistics-gathering”.
Why a “Safety Net” is Worth the Peace of Mind
Because this was a 12-hour time difference and the “other side of the world”, I used a travel company.
- The Backup Plan: If a rental car failed or a flight changed, I had a fallback.
- The Price Myth: Travel agencies often buy in bulk. Comparing the prices, it wasn’t actually more expensive than booking separately. But even if it had been, the “Anxiety Tax” I didn’t have to pay was worth every penny.
Troubleshooting Your Next Adventure
If you’re planning your own “Droomreis”, here is how to handle the inevitable ADHD moments:
- Don’t try to remember. Build one system that remembers for you. Whether it’s a designed book like mine or a simple Notion page, centralise everything.
- Batch your laundry. Packing for 14 days is a nightmare. Packing for 7 days, and doing one load of laundry, is manageable.
- The 20-Decision Rule. If you can remove 20 tiny decisions before you leave, such as your eSIM, airport parking, or first-night dinner, you’ll have 20 units of energy left to actually enjoy the sunset.
Join the Reset
This trip taught me that my biggest struggle isn’t motivation. It’s the friction of a thousand tiny decisions.
This is exactly what we build inside MindCastle Rewired. We don’t try to become “perfectly organised”. We build systems that work with your chaos brain instead of trying to fix it.
Get My ADHD Travel Packing List
I’m currently translating my personal travel packing list, the one I used for Max and Kim’s Hawaii trip, from Dutch to English.
Want my complete ADHD-friendly packing system?
Download the free 2-page Travel Packing List for your suitcase, carry-on and in-flight seat pouch.
It helps you remember the essentials, keep important items close and stop rebuilding your packing list before every trip.
Are you a “plan everything” or “plan nothing” kind of traveller? How do you handle the “Schiphol jitters”? Let me know in the comments!
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